I am not acquainted with suffering

A girl walked into the bookstore today, talking on her phone; she seemed aggravated, flustered, and very humble. She was discussing how someone had wronged her. This person was on parole and if she wanted to be vindictive she could turn them in for something or other and get them put back in jail but “that’s not me” she said. She also said a couple of times how no one had offered to help her.

When she got off the phone she looked very downcast and she asked me if I had anything that could encourage her. I said “how about a hug?” I gave her a hug and that put a smile on her face and she thanked me. She said she was looking for a book to help her through a rough time and that she had a lot of things going on. Another customer asked what was going on and she started a long list of things I have never experienced first or second hand. She put on a small smile, happy that someone was showing interest in her life, and fighting tears she slowly said “I may have ovarian cancer, I got kicked out of my house, my 3 kids and fiancé and I are living in a hotel, I almost lost my job, I have a few other health issues” she said some other things I don’t remember, but she was obviously in a hard spot and suffering. She mentioned she was only 27. I could see scars on her arms; I don’t know if they were from abuse or just a hard life. I did not know what to say… The gentleman that had asked the probing question asked if she knew Jesus. She said she was “born in church, but had been away from it for a long time.” He said something about knowing what it what it was like to go through some crappy situations; he then asked if he could pray for her. Right there in the store with customers all around he held her hand and started praying in a normal volume like he was talking to a friend. He prayed for what seemed a couple minutes that God would see her and help her and encourage her and that she would find joy and love and peace in Him. The whole time I’m thinking, “Why didn’t you think of that, Bryan?” and “What book can I offer her that will help her in her situation?” When he was done praying he reached down and handed her the last copy of a Rick Warren book saying that it helped him a lot when he was dealing with some tough times and that it would bless her and encourage her. I don’t doubt it was providence that he just happened to be standing there by that exact book as she walked in and started talking to us. She asked me if I had any books on marriage saying she and her fiancé wanted to grow closer to one another. All I could do was show her a section of books filled with marriage advice, half of it probably common sense or unhelpful fluff. She picked out two and asked which one I thought was better…I had no idea, I haven’t read any books on marriage. She chose one, but the other one sounded good too so I gave it to her and paid for it myself later. I told her to tell me which one she thought was better after she read them.

During this interaction I had two thoughts, the first of which I hated more than the other, but I hated them both. The first was a self-righteous upper middle class bias that was engrained in me somewhere in my upbringing; probably through hearing snide comments toward the homeless, the poor, or the hurting. Knowing it was only a half truth as I thought it, I thought “you are where you are because of the decisions you have made.” True or not, you are where you are, and sometimes that sucks and you need some help to get out. Secondly, I thought, “I have no idea what this girl is going through, or how to really help her.” I was glad that other gentleman was in the store and at least in word sympathized with her and had the boldness to pray for her and ask her if she knew Jesus, the only One who could really help her. I thanked him twice before he left the store, and thanked God many more times for his interaction. The only thing I knew to do for the girl was pray for her and give her that other book as an act of kindness. As her credit card was processing I jotted a quick note to her saying I would continue to pray for her. I meant it, and I will. As she left I told her that I would pray for her and that I hoped things would get better. She smiled but…I still felt like I wasn’t doing anything to help her.

Later I kicked myself for not recommending the Psalms or even probing deeper about her relationship with Christ. How could I be so unhelpful and timid about speaking up?