A rare piece of poetry

A verse that helped me come out of a hard time was Matthew 12:20: A battered reed he will not break off; a smoldering wick He will not put out. Recent conversations reminded me of this time and that even though I wasn't seeking God, he never let me go! I started to write, wanting to convey my circumstances and how this verse encouraged me that even though I was full of selfish pursuits, God had not abandoned me and still craved a close relationship with me. As I wrote I ended up putting the verse in the first words of each line...i don't know the poetic name for that though.
Enjoy cuz I don't often write poetry

A man seeking his own.
Battered, beaten and bruised. A brittle
Reed thirsty, weak and dry. Near dead but
He would not let go. He
Will not abandon. I have
Not any faith, nothing fills. Thirsty, weak, and dry, at a point to
Break and let all go. Once on a straight path, now
Off.

And was obscurity clear,
A distress troubled.
Smoldering, near burnt, always wanting. My
Wick, can it be bright? Its futile.
He would not let go, He
Will not abandon.
Not with my strength I fight.
Put to trial, well done!
Out of the breaking, complete.


Hope that's encouraging to one or two of you.

Hunting and the Gospel?

I recently went hunting. Not just for an afternoon or a day. I took a 5 day trip to Michigan to hunt for 3 days. As I should do more, I asked myself beforehand, "How does the gospel affect this trip? and how does this trip affect the Kingdom of God?" I would be traveling with believers so there wouldn't be evangelistic opportunity. At first I wasn't sure and almost didn't want to put much thought into it because I really enjoy spending time in the woods hunting and didn't want to come to the conclusion that it was wasted time. I decided that I should pray about it and maybe I would figure it out on the trip.

As we left at 4am Wednesday morning to start our 13 hour drive, I took the co-pilot seat. Instead of sleeping, I chatted with the driver. We talked about books, church, preachers, eschatology, women, hunting, missions, and stuff like that...we had a lot of time on our hands. The time passed and that afternoon we arrived at camp. After a hearty dinner, we examined the map, picked spots for the following morning's hunt and headed to bed. I got to sleep in a tent. The weather predicted a low in the night of 27 degrees Fahrenheit. Needless to say, it was cold. I slept in my long-johns and inside of two sleeping bags on an air mattress that was 1.5 feet wide. There is a challenge that comes with sleeping on that sort of air mattress. It's engineering is designed so that after inflation it is raised down the center of the mat, sloping downward on the sides. Any movement to one side or the other leads to rolling off of it onto whatever hard surface one is trying to avoid sleeping on. Therefore, one must sleep in balanced position, not moving the entire night to 'enjoy' the comforts of an inflatable mat.
Day 1 of the hunt was spent mostly in the woods with only 1 deer being harvested although I saw at least a dozen. The challenge with bow hunting is not seeing deer, its getting those deer within very close range. Day 2 it rained a lot, and 2 deer were harvested. Day 3 we went to the famous Beaverton Tavern for their famous "wet-burritos" that are so large few men can eat the entire thing, although we always try. We chatted about hunting and sports and work...the usual. As I left the BT, it occurred to me one area the gospel had affected that lunch and the trip overall. It was in our conversation. We didn't constantly talk about the gospel or grace, but I don't think we had to. I realized there were a lot of things we didn't talk about as a result of Christ being in us. This seems trivial but I really try to think about how various things are affected by the gospel and I was really wondering about this hunting trip.
So basically I saw two areas specifically that were affected by the gospel and may even have a small affect on the Kingdom. First was our conversation: Overall it was edifying, encouraging and uplifting. We didn't talk about a lot of negative things, sinful things, or tear each other down. Secondly, I enjoyed praying as I sat in the stand. Imagine complete silence, the smell of earth, the leaves and the trees after a light rain. I sit up in a tree above squirrels scampering around, birds chirping, an occasional turkey or deer walk by completely unaware of my presence. For hours in this tranquil silence I lifted up praise to one who created it all. As I thought of friends I prayed for them --friends who know Christ I prayed that they would grow in Him; and friends who are not believers that they would one day know the one who created them and the serenity I was enjoying. I was just able to talk with the Father and enjoy it! I also was able to spend spend some great time with my earthly father and brothers and talk with them and strengthen our relationship which I thoroughly enjoyed!

Fasting and Reason

I was in the bookstore sitting behind the counter when my little Indian friend came up, arms folded and informed me that she was mad. She is the most brilliant and mature 9 year old that I have ever met and I was very interested as to what had made her mad. So I asked her to tell me all about it. She told me that she was hungry. "Why are you hungry?" I asked. "Because I'm fasting. I've been fasting since yesterday and it stinks because I want to eat something and can't." I thought maybe it was a Muslim holiday where the family fasts for something or other. I asked her why she was fasting. "I dont know... but we do, and I don’t like it." Then she left with that flustered face that kids make to let everyone know they are flustered, inviting inquiry as to why, giving them an excuse to vent about something. She came in just wanting to let me know that she was fasting, but the fact that she had no idea why saddened me. So many people are caught up in religious practices, living their life by strict standards, going out of their way to do things, or even depriving their body of nutrition because... they think they are supposed to... because its what they do... because a leader said so... but not really knowing why. I was sad and wanted to relate to her and tell her that I fast too sometimes, and it makes me really hungry as well. I wanted to tell her that I fast when there is something that I am very burdened about and want to talk to my heavenly Father about it all day long. That when I have thoughts of being hungry it drives me to prayer and that is my reason for fasting, and that it always changes my heart and draws me closer to God. I wanted to tell her all this but she was gone and didn't come back all day. She was gone, off to continue being hungry and left to wonder why.

I have known many people who call themselves Christians and are in a similar loop of actions without solid reasoning behind what they do. I read only this version of the Bible, I go to this church, I wear these clothes and listen to this music, I don't go to those places...and so on... just because. Because a parent raised me this way or a pastor said this is what good Christians do... When these things define who we are as a Christian there are huge problems. When people look at me what do they see? What mental categories do they put me in? I want to be known as someone who loves people the way Jesus loved people. I want to be defined by how I treat people with love and how I speak unceasingly about Christ and how He affects my life. I have a lot of work to do, and heart changing that needs to be done, but He is faithful.

I'll see my Indian friend again soon and maybe we can talk more about fasting and the reasons behind our actions.